"I want to know what love is,"
The ballads croon, a yearning I can't dismiss.
seeking love in all the ‘right’ places,
but come up short, heart strewn, finding no traces.
I have strayed in dares and curiosity,
overwhelming sensations birth animosity.
Pushed down, down, down deep below,
dormant, to 'fit in’, the ‘pill’ I swallow.
Much older now, can I claim my truth?
A Christian? Does that free me: a rebirth?
Am I ‘queer as ****’?!
Can I love without feeling stuck?
The heart requires courage,
but weak am I, keep praying for marriage.
Am I a hopeless case?
Or will I live and embrace?
Will I ever be free?
To be me?
Or will I keep denying,
it and keep trying,
to fit the mould
of this world?
****!!!