attempts to create connections
always seem so inauthentic
it feels more natural
to push people away
so that i don’t have to
experience
the rejection
on my end

i don’t think i’ve ever
been comfortable
inside my own skin
but i try to find ways
to learn to love me
and when i fail
to find a way
to make that happen
i push everyone else away

i’m my own punching bag
no one could be as cruel to me
as i am
and i think the reason
i beat myself up
so badly
is to keep
anyone else
from being able
to hurt me