I don't think I can…
I promised and she's happy
     I'm … complacent, if…
               …Not happy.

When I was younger I was devout
To my ideals. I would speak
With fervor and vision
About dark beauty and my take
On the human condition.
…About how we are bound to nature
By blood and *** through
Evolution and mutation.
…About how humans were polyamorus
Creatures, beings of righteous love,
And the bearers of pain and choice.

Then I learned what choice is.
I chose money and comfort
instead of pain and hardship.
My vision of a glorious life lived
On Occam's sharp blade
Was dulled on salty, wet silk sheets.
Each choice, made out of love
On what I believed to be
A Foundation of compromise.
Each choice took a piece of
darkest nature from me and returned me to
safe suburban parks
The dark,now,
illuminated by street lamps.

Now when I look at my path
And feel the old me rising
Knowing I must make a choice
I don't think I can…
I promised and she's happy
     I'm … complacent, if…
               …Not happy.