I hate to admit
That dissociation
Is a friend of mine.
Putting myself on autopilot,
Just so I can survive.
Separating from reality,
Because simply living
Is all I’ve got this time.
I wish you could
See me in the state
That I’m in now
Broken, bruised,
So critical.
It’s absolutely pitiful.
I’m tired of feeling low,
But I keep dragging myself
Down,
Sinking and
Caught in the undertow.
Someone wake
Me from this
Mental charade
Because I’m tired
Of all the games,
And the iron bars that
Keep holding me down.
It’s hard to thrive,
When I can’t figure
Out how to figure
Myself out.
Happy anniversary,
Trauma, guilt and
Doubt.
The past is very
Critical and I
Just want out.
I keep waiting
For an answer, but
I know I’m the only
One who lets myself
Down one more time.
I hate to admit
That dissociation
Is a friend of mine.
And I’m sorry,
If I disconnect
Sometimes.
Please don’t give
Up on me now
I just need someone
To make me feel alive
One last time.