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Dec 2022
i don't know what's worse:
forcing myself to fall asleep without your touch
or waking up in an empty bed again

it's a whole new kind of loneliness
trying to get a hold of myself
after years of trying to hold you

seven hundred and eighty-nine days
falling and fighting over you
just ends with **** we're dividing up

i cannot remember what life was like
before my eyes met with yours
the deepest shade of blue

you will always linger
in new habits we've created together
in every hidden spot in the city that i've shown you

all my hopes, dreams, and fears
they now belong to you
for evermore

i woke up alone again today
perhaps you did, too
just two broken souls in lonely beds
we were never meant to be

i toss and turn
flipped the pillow where you used to lay your head
now soaked with my acid tears

i will curse you for the longest time
always pondering the 'what-ifs'

if one thing had been different
would everything be different today?
would you have never left?
would we have never ended so catastrophically
the most bittersweet tragedy?

i used to feel you, no matter how far you were
yet in the final days, you got me questioning
who was that stranger laying next to me?

we were fire on fire
now i'm ash and ember
so who am i offending now?

you were my most beautiful film
sadly, i couldn't change the ending

pacing back and forth
i find myself talking into the night
"this pain would be never more"
this is a poem for the same person i wrote my last one for. we lasted 789 days.
Esther
Written by
Esther  22/F/In Your Memories
(22/F/In Your Memories)   
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