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789 days

i don't know what's worse:

forcing myself to fall asleep without your touch

or waking up in an empty bed again

 

it's a whole new kind of loneliness

trying to get a hold of myself

after years of trying to hold you

 

seven hundred and eighty-nine days

falling and fighting over you

just ends with **** we're dividing up

 

i cannot remember what life was like

before my eyes met with yours

the deepest shade of blue

 

you will always linger

in new habits we've created together

in every hidden spot in the city that i've shown you

 

all my hopes, dreams, and fears

they now belong to you

for evermore

 

i woke up alone again today

perhaps you did, too

just two broken souls in lonely beds

we were never meant to be

 

i toss and turn

flipped the pillow where you used to lay your head

now soaked with my acid tears

 

i will curse you for the longest time

always pondering the 'what-ifs'

 

if one thing had been different

would everything be different today?

would you have never left?

would we have never ended so catastrophically

the most bittersweet tragedy?

 

i used to feel you, no matter how far you were

yet in the final days, you got me questioning

who was that stranger laying next to me?

 

we were fire on fire

now i'm ash and ember

so who am i offending now?

 

you were my most beautiful film

sadly, i couldn't change the ending

 

pacing back and forth

i find myself talking into the night

"this pain would be never more"

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Written by
schoolgirlcrush
23 / F / In Your Memories
Published
Dec 20, 2022
Lines·Words
43·266
Notes

this is a poem for the same person i wrote my last one for. we lasted 789 days.

Tags
#ex#lover#breakup#loneliness#sad#heartbreak#grief#ending
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