You gave me hope, hope that I could be loved.
Ever since I met you, every time I woke up I knew it would be a good day because I would see you.
Even when I had to wake up so early that even the sun was not up yet, even when I was so tired that I wanted to stay in bed, and even when I woke up sad, as soon as I saw you, my day was complete.
On the days I woke up sad, my sad morning turned into smiles by just looking at you.
Working was heavy, it was not easy, it was boring, and I thought I would never have a friend, I thought I would always sit alone outside during breaks smoking a cigarette alone in the cold.
But then you started working there too, and I wasn't alone anymore, I had a friend and work was fun, I wanted to go to work just to see you.
I was happy at my work, because you were there.
And I started growing feelings for you, and I thought, maybe, very maybe, you would have feelings for me too.
How dumb was I?
You told me how beautiful the new colleague is and at that moment, my heart dropped.
All the hope I had was gone, it all went to dust and blew away with the wind.
Every sign you gave me, was not love or like, it was friendship.
And I started thinking and thinking, and I thought to myself "If you can't love the person you see in front of you, how can you ever love the real me? How can anyone ever love the real me?"
I wanted to be mad at you, I wanted to ignore you and give you bad looks.
But I can't be mad at you, I can't blame you for not loving me.
I can't.
I know deep inside that if you knew it would hurt me, you would not have said it.
I know you wouldn't want to hurt me.
But what more can I do?
How do I have to be so you would love me?
Maybe, I was just not made to be loved.
No, not maybe, I'm sure about it.
I will lay down my feelings and I will give up this fight.
Because I can't make you love me.