The Person Who Abused me is Dying

I really don't know what to say right now he's rotting from the inside out and I do not care if he lives or dies because either way he won't harm anymore lives can't really do much with no fingers or feet which turned black like his touch a rash became too much and only the heroin in his veins kept him standing-up but it'll affect his children the ones he does not have custody of but I think a part of me always hoped that one day he'd admit to everything he had done and he'd apologize for it all that he'd change his ways do some good I'd let it all go if he tried to do better because nothing is unforgiveable and people can change -- I've seen it but he never did he never did and now he's rotting from the inside out heart infected brain damaged blackened fingers and toes and I feel bad that I do not feel bad I feel bad for the times I thought that the only way he'd ever stop was if he died. Now it seems he's dying. And he's rotting from the inside out. Perhaps that is punishment enough.

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Written by

tatiana

27 / F / American

Published: Dec 1, 2021
LinesWords: 34201

Notes: ©Tatiana
I've made mistakes myself. Times where I've hurt my family because I thought I was doing something right but it turned out I was way off the mark. And that guilt still haunts me sometimes, never mind the fact that I apologized and changed my ways. I've even been forgiven and I'm so different now compared to when I was 16/17 yrs old. So I can't understand how he continued to keep doing bad things over and over again. Everyone in my family gave him chances to get back on his feet and he threw them all away. He kept hurting people and not once did he ever admit to it or apologize for any of it. And I just don't get it. Why couldn't he have done better?
I learn that I fucked up and then I do better. He never learned from his mistakes/bad choices.
Tags: #abuse #death #forgiveness #confusion #guilt

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