I listen to Gogol Bordello
through surround sound
speakers in my living room
Fold laundry in my sports bra
Brew coffee all day long
I cry a lot
I write a lot
I paint a lot
My laugh is piercing
My eyes are glossy
My best friends are drug addicts
I prefer wine
And snow storms
And Netflix
I have a pierced eyebrow
I have a pierced nose
I've got tattoos on my arms,
Flowers growing up my right ankle
And 18 years of regret overflowing my skull
I don't care for your muscles
Or the ice in your ear lobes
I kiss hello
And I kiss goodbye
I like the smell of gasoline
I like the smell of ****
I run my fingers through his hair when he cries
He doesn't mind
If you sit in my seat,
I'll be sitting in your lap
I don't care who you are
I'll hug you from behind if you look sad
I'll feed you whiskey to cure your headache
I mop the floors, excessively when I'm anxious
I paint my nails just to peel it all away
I don't sleep
And I don't really eat
I smile without really meaning it
Throw out "I love you"s like water
Clean my sheets daily but forget to shower
I hate myself for smoking
But I've never really tried to stop
I over think everything you say
You can see my mind racing
from a mile away
And then my friends say,
"Not again.
I'm not takin your **** today"
But they do anyway
School makes me nauseous
Always has
Work makes me happy
Always has
I don't care for money
But I like to move
And I like to talk
And I need to feel accomplished
I sing out loud even when I don't know the words
I like to be home alone
But, I'll text you over and over and over again
Until you come keep me company
Just to know that you care
I need constant reassurance
Because I've spent most of my life hating myself
And I'm perpetually afraid
of revisiting that feeling
I hate the beach
I hate to drive
I'm nostalgic all the time
I think of life like a ticking time bomb
Counting down the days til I die
I'm wired
You can see it in my eyes
I'm worried
You can hear it in my voice
Always worried
Worried about someone
But I'm the one who's falling apart
Right at the seams
I invite people into my bed too easily
Invite people into my heart even easier
I don't get annoyed
And I don't get angry
I have love pouring out of my veins
There are certain songs I can't listen to
Without chocking on my own tears
There are certain faces I can't look into
Without chocking on my own tears
I'm obsessive
Compulsive
Impulsive
I'm an over-sharer
I'm an over-carer
You said I've got it all figured out
I'm just good at hiding my fear
I sweep it under my tongue
I don't know much
But I know that I'm gonna be okay
Wish I could say the same for you
Oh what I'd do
To say the same for you