I was so mad at you one day
Your gruff ways — slights that
Pile up in subtle ways
You don’t notice them, for me
It’s death by a thousand cuts
We got in the car and you turned on a song
As we pulled on the Drive
You began singing along
Your strong baritone, expressing real joy
I was aghast with myself and began to cry
Behind my sunglasses
So our daughter wouldn’t see
I felt the gorgeous spirit of
Our love all around me
So, fragile that I am, in matters of the heart
That’s when my tears of joy started to fall

As I listen now again —
And again, and again,
I remember the tapestry
That brought us together
I remember what you said to me
During the birth of our baby
******* whispers
About how we shocked the neighbors
Like in that Bukowski essay
To trick my spirit happily
Knowing I could not control
Them cutting me open
Naked in crucifix position
Helpless and terrified
I needed your intervention
You took me away to our special place
I didn’t even notice
You looking over the curtain
At my glistening insides
I know you inside and out now, baby
You repeated this to me for years
As well as remembering every
Small detail of our hallowed courtship
And repeating
Them to me like prayers
On many romantic occasions

I listened again and I cried —- yes, again!
How could I have doubted you?
How could we get so mean?
To each other! Such speed and carelessness,
Such misunderstandings
So many angry words
But whenever my heart opens to the field
What I feel and what I know
Are completely real
I can tell you my love for you
Will still be strong
After any of these storms
Have come and gone