sometimes, I get angry
and
sometimes,  I don't know why

it's a pain that's
inherited
and
passed down
the bloodlines.

I think around 6,
I became lonely

but

I think at 8,
I became alone.

When I first learned
that telling
those around me,
would not
fix
the problem
and would

only

make
the heartache
more
unbearable.

So, I started to perfect the art of performance:

good daughter
protective sister
independent
&
worthy
loving friend
sacrificing lover

and

instead of expressing my pain
I took on that of others,
because
that pain
I could
control

or at least
I could try.

-

The veil between
performance
and me

became as
thin
as my frame did,

until one day
it vanished

and I didn't even

notice.