If I could turn back time
to when I was a kid
I would redo all
of the things that I did
Just so that I wouldn't have to
relive
all the hurt that I've felt,
and the lies that
I've fibbed

If I could go back once
to when I was young
I would redo
all the of things I had done
Just so I wouldn't have to regain
all the struggle I went through
to work on my pain

If I could just rewind
to an earlier time
To change all the mistakes,
and rewrite all the rhymes
I would take myself back
to when I was nine
When I didn't know better
and the world was still mine

If I could escape
to before I was born
I would go back
just so that I could warn
My mother that she never wanted me here
But I'd show her the life I'd created from fear
I'd point out my flaws, and my anxiety
That all grew because she didn't want me
I'd show her how I was always afraid
Because I was the unwanted baby she made
I'd tell her that I never felt good enough
And how she made my childhood rough
I'd point out the hatred I feel for myself
Because I always wished
I'd been born someone else

If I could turn back the clock
and return to the past
I'd realize
I was forced
to grow up too fast

Arlo Disarray© 03/06/2021