You hated that
I was such a pessimist.
I complained when
nothing was wrong.

Every time
I opened my heart
to burden you with
my worries, you
sighed with
exasperation.
Your eyes filled
with deep frustration.
Your uncaring words
said with scathing
resolution.

You told me you didn't want to be
with someone who made you feel
like when their sky was falling,
you had to be my Atlas.

Now, I swallow every word.

I know that every
word of worry,
every tear filled eye
will send us closer to
our doom.

Lying to you while
I'm lying in bed,
nightmare scenarios
dance in my head,
I realize loving you
is not enough,
and while you are
sleeping, dreaming
of a life without me,
I am screaming,
and falling,
blood on my knees.
I hurt you. I hurt you.
I didn't know when to
Stop.

When you slipped
away from me, I
had to hide my
fear.

But I knew, deep down,
the end was near.