Is this what they call death? Still being awake at three in the morning with short, heavy heart beats that you could almost feel your chest sink? With your mind still completely awake and a burst of thoughts suddenly come through it like wildfire, leaving you overwhelmed with emotions that you can't even tell apart? Trust me when I say I've tried shutting it off--- my mind and all the madness that it goes through, but somehow, the more I try to suppress it, the more I feel alive. I feel like dying, but at the same time it's what is keeping me alive.