it's been over a year since I left. a year can be a long time, no?
it's been a year since we went our separate ways.
a year since those words.

"we won't be able to see each other much,
and I don't want to hold you back."

all I saw was you being afraid of commitment,
or you being afraid of potentially getting hurt while I moved ahead.
I wish the end was as simple as it was when we were together.
but you know you were a ****, right? you don't tell someone those words
right before she steps on stage.

but I ****** it up. pretended it was fine.
you know you shouldn't have shown up at my graduation too, right?
gave me too much of that **** hope right there.
all you did was stay for a few pictures, and we were right back to square one.
you and I. not together, but not not together.

we stopped talking when the school year started.
but boy were your words ever wrong.
we saw each other every week. every ******* week.
and we did stupid things, to try and one-up the other,
to show we were moving on.

but then you crossed the line.

out of everyone to date, my sister's best friend?
and after that fizzled out, you used her to talk to me again.
and we were back to square one. you and I. again.
and so to break the cycle, I just cut you off.
six months passed, just like that. it was a year since,
and I thought I was ready to move on.

until I showed up at a new job, some familiar faces but a fresh start.
that was, until I saw you there again. as my colleague.
for a year.

"we can't see each other as much anymore." *******.
it's year two, and I still can't get rid of you.