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Jul 2020
I was suicidal when I was 9.
Open cute little journal
“I hate myself”
Pages 1, 2, 20.

It’s supposed to be hard to care about other people,
Not yourself.

11 when I felt nothing
12 when I asked pain for a visit.
Just one minute of feeling,
Please.

I connect too deeply with my blood.
That’s why we’re best friends.

Or, maybe, I don’t connect deeply enough with her.
With that warm fluid pulsating the individual dance
Of my
And only my
being.
Written by
lydia orr
  167
     Shamai, Shubhankar Mathur, efni, RM, X and 14 others
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