I grew up with God in the wind,
and didn't fit in with Christian friends.
They told me stories and begged me to repent.
Though doubtful, my anxiety sparked at the thought of sin.
I was once on a playdate and the mother told me.
She disowned her best friend when she confessed she was a lesbian.
She told me she could only take her back if she came to her senses.
It made me feel sad and sick, with little sympathy for the protagonist.
I was once told by a good friend that no one is bisexual, of course they're just confused.
I knew who I was but I didn't say anything in rebuttal.
I just nodded my head and took the bruise.
Once after jokingly seeing my boyfriend and another male friend hold hands, my mother told me "how dare those faggots disrespect you like that."
It was a moment that shattered glass and left scars.
I managed an apology after too much effort.
My stepfather once told me that gender fluidity was a confused phase, and a fad for attention.
Walls were put up and notes were taken.
Doors remained closed and silence prevailed.
I am complicated.
I blend in to "normal"
I feel guilty at times and don't feel honest.
I undervalue, perhaps, the benefit of looping everyone in.
Or, perhaps, I'm just keeping the peace and heeding warning signals.
I can say for certain, it's not a fad nor phase.
I've always been who I am, I just had to grow up in order to phrase it.