I can see it in the way
she watches me;
she hates me.

I've tried and tried
from birth
to be what she wants.

I've been sick too many times
each time not
physical
never taken to heart

I promise I didn't will
my brain to be this way
I promise I'm trying
I promise I'm not pretending

Please believe me

They've tried to
force open the gates
of her heart
But it's no use
Everybody has a key except me.

Please let me in mom
Please give me the key
I promise to try harder this time