Did I figure it out?
I loved him more than I loved myself.
Everything I did was for him, because of him. Everything I did was to make him happy and what he wanted because I thought,
if he was happy, I’d be happy.
But that wasn’t the case, what made him happy didn’t make me happy. But I kept trying endlessly and didn’t understand,
but was more confused as to why we both weren’t happy together rather than why I, myself, wasn’t happy.