I have finally found it a single switch to cure all my ailments. Led by old heartaches whispering new phrases and ancient fears with different faces. Wary looks and tired eyes aching bones and empty rooms that rend my hopeless heart and scar it afresh.
"You're not suited for each other" and "you will fall out of love" echoes down these dark halls like an ominous sea rearing back and baring teeth before it swallows me whole. And though I promise to walk away should it ever be too much to bear, I know. I know. I know.
I know it in my heart that I will break with every step that carries me away.
And I am not sure what it is that I feel anymore because lost, hopeless, substandard are the only words I can make out among the deep ruts in my mind. Even when I know that once the words lovely, splendid and beautiful were written on my skin.
Though I have no way of knowing, I agonise, I rant and rave. Could I do it? Would I be brave enough? To shut down every thing I feel?
So, shortly after I confessed my feelings to the girl I liked, the entire household was fighting over the relationship. And my best friend gave me a long talk on how the two of us weren't suited for each other, even when we'd just started sneaking around and writing letters like Rosalind and Juliet. The next morning I woke up in an awful daze and spewed poetry.