my body is not a line you can draw parallels to i am unfamiliar, and distinct, all curved and cracked edges i am not straight.
my body is not a line you can draw parallels to but i'll still find a way to sketch our similarities, a comparison; shirts off and tracing the patterns of conventional beauty like a dot-to-dot that doesn't align with the mass of me, all my dips and swells: a child that can't colour inside the lines
sometimes the ***** of my nose makes me wonder how often i must lie to myself, and my reflection repeats "i'm a real boy" and we repeat, and repeat, and repeat until the mirror breaks.
i am real. breathing. alive.
fingertips pressed to my cheeks, and then squeezing at the flesh of my hips i push and stretch and pinch this way and that messing, fiddling, curious and carping; but when i'm done, i don't ... do anything other than walk away
despite the critical caricature of my image this is not a confession of self hatred, but in fact the opposite is true.
this is self-acceptance. this is love. this is learning. this is healing.
i didn't notice when i stopped trying to please my eyes i just know that i did and once i focused on me, not my mirror i was happier with what i saw anyway
see, my scars are more visible in my eyes than on my skin, but if you look closely enough you can see the trajectory from despair to kindness wounds dressed with watercolours, and smiles and a promise that i'd give myself a second chance