I feel alone
I feel desperate
I feel destructive

20mg hydroxyzine later

I feel tired
I feel calm
I feel drugged

I don’t want to be like this
Seeking relief every waking moment
Begging for the pain to cease
Pull solutions out of a hat

take pills                      
                    *******
drink                            ­       scream      
                                            slice your wrist
a few more pills          
                              bother your friends
sleep it off                                                  
           ­      cry                          write
plan your death                      
                                     ­         try to ignore it


And know
That though this mood will pass
The illness never will
It will always stalk me
It will always come to torture me
It will always be waiting
To destroy me