This isn’t where I wanted to be,
hiding in the other room
on New Year’s.

Hunger and exhaustion
struck war with
defeat and depression
over a bowl of noodles.

And suddenly
it’s the
dragon in the room,
breathing down our backs
and burning us deep.

I wanted to be sinking into
warmth and love,
feeling hope and joy.


Here I sit in cold white light
hearing his voice

how sad it is


I hate that sadness.
I hate when he sounds like
the whole universe is crushing him
in an Iron Maiden of molten metal.

I wish
he would just
take the time
to listen.

New year.