Last night we lay in bed, I asked her under a code of honesty
The request was a reach because opening up isn’t her policy
If you had the Flashes power and could go back in time
Would you marry me when we were dumb but in our prime

I could feel something going through her head
She paused for a long while then said
“In my heart of hearts I say yes” pause “But I don’t know if I would”
My insides were screaming but I held it in as hard as I could

Frankness is so rare and in no way want me to hamper
What could be said to not discourage the candor
She is willing to talk so out with the mystery
I asked, “what can I change so you don’t alter history?”

“it is *** and your obsession with me orgasming, you want it to much”
“And now the things you shared is on the gay side not just a touch”
I will admit I think about *** and my mind is filled to the brim
I asked, “if you found someone that doesn’t want much *** would you have married him?”
Both of us staring into the dark she said “Yes”
Insides are reeling but I keep it suppressed.

18 years ago by chance I ran across an email from her lover
I fought for her when she almost left me for that other
Winning in the end, I have never fought so hard
But would she fight for me I choose to disregard

All I could do was rejoice
But I was the easy choice
We were already married and if she stayed with him then it would have wrecked another
She didn’t want to be a home wrecker because the other was married to a new mother

She rolled over to face me. Said “I need to sleep now” Kissed me and said she loved me and was sleeping soundly within minutes
I lay with eyes wide open. The candor I asked for caused pain beyond my limits.

This morning when she waked all was usual
She walked around naked and was so beautiful
Though hurt I kissed her and smiled not wanting to be a ****
Got dressed for casual day, I never wear a hat at work

But when I saw the bed post and saw my new ball cap
What are the chances of this crap
Coincidences can be so caviler
Blazoned across the front was “Time Traveler”

I threw on the new cap but pulled it off when it didn’t fit
I stared at it remembering I never got to wear it
At the store she took and wore it the rest of the day
She is fantasizing about a time away
Defective Words