I've been thinking about you each day, maybe twice And how disfigured your world views can get And how I could help if I could go back with abilities to stop regrets
I'd tell you not to worry but I know that's a lost cause Because back then you were trying to treat your feelings with rap gauze
I'd tell you love yourself because you're the only one that matters Or maybe tell you how my brain works now, to see if you'd get sadder I know the world was built on shakey grounds of lots of stress But no one you know thinks like you son, That was your genesis
I would tell you how you should see your dad But back then if anyone bad talked the family you'd get mad So maybe I can tell you why everyone is out to hurt you Or why you'll try to make your life close the ******* curtain.
Maybe I can give you space to ****** grieve Over your aunts, uncles and friends that had to leave Maybe discourage your ambitions and untie the knot I know life's a surplus of vacant parking lots Where dreams, ambitions and desires start punching rocks Until they're morphed into creatures you refuse to acknowledge Until your final break down at the "Pittsburgh Rip off College"
Maybe I could tell you to feel your pain Or lessen the impact of prescription drugs on that younger brain Maybe even make you into who you're meant to be But I fear that that answer maybe me
I'd tell you to talk to mom, and open up Take up the vacant room she left you in that hut I'd help you sleep at night with soulful lullabies And put you to sleep with our own hurt pride
Maybe if I could bleed the effects of the pre-condition You'd be intelligent and have some kind of ancient wisdom Lessons that stuck from two worlds apart But most of all, I'd tell you to take the sleeve from that bleeding heart There's no wound to nurse once you break the silence Because the only reason it still hurts is cuz you're keeping quiet
You'll grow up to be a manipulator The kind of person you won't despise until much later The kind of person that uses people for mental exercise The person who isn't afraid to resort to lies.
Sometimes I wonder if it would even make a difference Or if the timeline would adjust the route, Like a downhill liquid.
I killed myself to make me view That life is how I see it, So now I look at you.