My notes are full of conversations I never had

Not with you,



They contain words unspoken and unheard

But definitely felt



I wonder if you knew they were there

I wanted you to



I wonder if you could read them  

On my face



When I’d cry at night next to you

Did you hear?



Did you choose to ignore the hurt

You caused?



Was it easier for you to pretend  

I was the problem?



I wonder if your disillusion caused you  

To see me as happy

  

If you saw my notes you’d know

I wasn’t.

Not even close.