At times I wake up
Thinking why the hell did god let me see another day?
I barely pray.
Barely say “dear lord thank you, for blessing me”
Guess I have a purpose
28 years layin down feeling so worthless
Nobody’s perfect
I lashed out at everyone because inside I was hurtin.
Feelin so deserted - needing self glory.
Wondering every **** day
When I die, what was my story?
Was I gift? Sent here to help spread change?
Was I a monster? Sent here to help spread pain.
Maybe I was a non factor and just fell back
Maybe I touched a few hearts...while sadly remaining detached
I don’t kno what it is, nor can I ****** give anymore effort
This world is tough and everyday we all tryna to gain new leverage
I stop to see
What it was that was always in front of me
The open sea.
With endless possibilities…
I see my siblings and watch them go out and fulfill their dreams
I see my friends - growing up and accomplishing all they were meant to be
I see my mother - who pushes on when life gets heavy
I see my soul - who is uncertain yet, claims to remain ready.
But that’s life - it’ll always remain unsteady.
It’ll gas you up, lie to you and even act semi petty.
80 percent is how you react, while 20 percent is what you let in
I’ve let it all come into me - some would call me reactive.
Not many people enjoy you - this trait is not attractive.
Yet, I’m combative - for I am, the way I am and that’s that kid.
I’ve changed so much that I could’ve gotten into fashion
I feel I need a cause for the reason that I am who I am and I’m so tired of askin
God and I just don’t see eye to eye and he no longer understand why I need to cry
When I work out with my demons- thinking that I got stronger
Is it excuse that I wanna die young? Or can I not take it any longer?
Idk, don’t ask such personal questions until you walk a mile in they shoes
Don’t count your wins before your blessing or your destined to lose
Don’t say a rich man means having green in the money holdin machine...
To me success comes from the genuine love within a human being
Or does it.
I’m just tryna stay balanced on this uneven scale
Will I prevail or will I fail?
The clique so you chose the path you’d like to trail
You make the decisions that benefit
Even if they barely fit
Some sweat writing this ****
I’m nervous I’m losing hold and can’t get a grip
While sayin metaphors out these lips
Imma end this small poem here
Just tryna say don’t waste time on what don’t matter
You never know if you’ll see another year
Text someone you love - thank a stranger for holdin the door - tell the broken winged child they can fly and allow your heart to finally soar
Make peace with your demons - try your best to chase your dreams - to make change isn’t always visible - but the act of kindness & love will never remain unseen.