Aug 2019
I hope you know where I am at today.
I also hope you know where I was last year.
I hope you know what I was back then.
Dad, I was just an innocent little child.
All I wanted was some food.
Maybe a cookie from time to time.
Or you to acknowledge me.
You to love mom.
For you not to try to **** her every night.
For you to not cheat on her.
For my brother to have been born, but you know what you did to him.
To have friends.
Not to move every ******* month.
Cousin JJ, I was just a child maybe 3 years old.
Not old enough to know what you did to me.
You told me that everybody did it.
So I went along with it.
You undressed me.
Then you ***** me.
For years every time I went there.
I was scared to go there.
But my mom said I was hurting my grandma's feelings so they made me spend the night.
They forced me to go.
So year after year you ***** me.
Until I was 7.
Uncle, you did the same thing.
But you lived with my dad.
Down in Mississippi.
So you weren't that often.
But for days my dad disappeared.
I was left alone with you.
I told no one.
Last year my baby cousins spoke up.
You did the same thing to them.
My dad refused to believe them.
That is when I spoke up too.
You went to court.
But I spoke up too late.
You aren't getting punished for ruining our innocence.
My ex-boyfriends, all I wanted was love.
I was young.
I was so ******* dumb.
You hit me.
Over and over again.
So I left.
But you came back and begged me to stay and you said you loved me.
You never hit me again.
But you yelled.
A lot.
You screamed at me for nothing.
All I did was hug my best friend.
But that was not allowed.
Sometimes I preferred the hitting, at least there was evidence it happened.
One day I yelled back.
You hated that.
You punched me so hard I blacked out.
When I woke up, you were gone.
I was scared.
So ******* scared.
You said you loved me, and I was an idiot and believed you.
I never yelled again.
Just let myself be pushed around.
One day you left me.
I was devastated.
I started to cut.
Blood all over my body.
But I met this wonderful guy.
And the cycle started again.
I also hope you know where I was last year.
I hope you know what I was back then.
Dad, I was just an innocent little child.
All I wanted was some food.
Maybe a cookie from time to time.
Or you to acknowledge me.
You to love mom.
For you not to try to **** her every night.
For you to not cheat on her.
For my brother to have been born, but you know what you did to him.
To have friends.
Not to move every ******* month.
Cousin JJ, I was just a child maybe 3 years old.
Not old enough to know what you did to me.
You told me that everybody did it.
So I went along with it.
You undressed me.
Then you ***** me.
For years every time I went there.
I was scared to go there.
But my mom said I was hurting my grandma's feelings so they made me spend the night.
They forced me to go.
So year after year you ***** me.
Until I was 7.
Uncle, you did the same thing.
But you lived with my dad.
Down in Mississippi.
So you weren't that often.
But for days my dad disappeared.
I was left alone with you.
I told no one.
Last year my baby cousins spoke up.
You did the same thing to them.
My dad refused to believe them.
That is when I spoke up too.
You went to court.
But I spoke up too late.
You aren't getting punished for ruining our innocence.
My ex-boyfriends, all I wanted was love.
I was young.
I was so ******* dumb.
You hit me.
Over and over again.
So I left.
But you came back and begged me to stay and you said you loved me.
You never hit me again.
But you yelled.
A lot.
You screamed at me for nothing.
All I did was hug my best friend.
But that was not allowed.
Sometimes I preferred the hitting, at least there was evidence it happened.
One day I yelled back.
You hated that.
You punched me so hard I blacked out.
When I woke up, you were gone.
I was scared.
So ******* scared.
You said you loved me, and I was an idiot and believed you.
I never yelled again.
Just let myself be pushed around.
One day you left me.
I was devastated.
I started to cut.
Blood all over my body.
But I met this wonderful guy.
And the cycle started again.
All the men in my life ****** me up
