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Jul 2019
I wonder if the person inside is still there,
I wonder if they still care.
Does she still love..?
Does she still speak to the man above...?
Is she just as alone ? Or has her heart turned to stone?  

Questions.
Their confusing, answers change.  Questions.
Mostly amusing, mostly strange.

They take your mental to hell.
I wonder what will break the spell..?
Love, was it real? Was It fake?
Im not sure how much of this I can take.
Are you safe? Are you okay?
Do you struggle through the night to  last another day?  
Each night, where is it that you lay your head?
Each night, Is someone else besides me, holding you instead?
Do you cry for me? Do you still feel the love from when we used to "be"?
No longer are we a "We". That is killing me, can't anyone see?

Questions.
Nothings Changed my answers are still the same..
Do you agree or was I just a piece of the game?

I ask the man above,
That one day he'll bring me back your love.
I'm tired of all these questions with no answers to 'em.
**** I miss you, I'm back to old surroundings, I ain't accustomed to 'em.
Waking up not to feel your arms wrapped around me..
Going to bed without hearing your voice speaking you love me.
If the situation was different, would we still be together, going strong?
Will our love continue to grow and move along?
Or did it end just the same? With the sad love song..?
I dunno where to go I dunno who to trust.
Your the only one I want and without you I feel my heart about to bust.
I need to hear your voice as I did before.
I need to feel your touch, that still to this day, I adore.
I love you and I dont take that lightly.
I wont speak the words loosely  and letting go is highly unlikely.
Im loosing my mind...
I refuse to believe your love wasnt mine.
One day you will feel it.
One day you will see it,
One day you will know that we can still be it.
We can still be us you just have to come back.
I'll provide you the things you now lack.
I would bring you the world just to put the smile on your face.
Since you been gone I promise noone has taken your place.
Noone has been in your space.
I'm writing you a poem with the question in my head,
Wondering if your alive or dead..?

My mind, my enemy, feel my worry, feel me...

Im standing on a ledge,
Nothin blocking the edge.
My emotions run so deep,
all I want is sleep.
Sick stomach, head pounding.
I feel myself drifting, I need some grounding.
Will you come back?
I wish I knew where you was at..
Questions with no answers its still mind-blowing.
After its said and done, My love, I'm still not tired of showing.
Come back to me.. I promise you will see..
I am still the person you wanted me to be.
Do you feel me?
This was in a time when I was in an abusive relationship and I still felt like I was the problem. That even when weeks would go by of not hearing from this person I felt broken. It's crazy how manipulated I was. If you are in an abusive relationship please GET OUT. You are worth so much more. Please leave the situation while you can. Some people don't make it out..
Haley Buckholt
Written by
Haley Buckholt  29/F/Dallas, TX
(29/F/Dallas, TX)   
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