there’s a boy
who says i smile with stars in my eyes
and i kiss like how lavender looks
and i walk with a step that makes him want to sing

there’s a boy
who calls me the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen
who wants to plan his future with me
who adores every part of me

there’s a boy
who i cannot love
who i refuse to love
who i’m terrified to love

but his attention keeps me awake, alert, alive

i’m sorry