First it needs to be noted that the REAL commandments, the set of
ten, come after these in the bible, but for purpose of mockery, I shall use the popular version instead.

1.Thou shalt have no other gods before me.(except for drugs, alcohol, your job and TV.)
2.Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image(except a Jesus magnet, Holy mother Mary and a picture of Moses for a magnet on a fridge.)
3.Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain(except when you're having ***, or hitting your head or having vaginal pain)
4.Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.(Do I need to say anything, in America it seems, the thing that is sacred- money only.)
5.Honour thy father and thy mother(except if you want to do drugs, **** and party even harder.)
6.Thou shalt not ****(That ones easy, you can hire someone who will)
7.Thou shalt not commit adultery(But that loli across the street makes this list a mockery)
8.Thou shalt not steal(except from people who can't defend themselves and you need their oil, for real.)
9.Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour(except if she's an evil witch a Muslim or a traitor.)
10.Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house,
thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife(No, you'll just mimic his behavior in order to have a richer life.)

Now, I'm not a man believing, but it seems these lost their meaning,
Somwhere in between the Moses climbing,
Up Sinai and later finding,
The Lord has changed his mind a bit,
And he's made a brand new list.