Do not tell me that i won’t always be alone. Stop telling me that, it's not true. Please stop giving me that idea, when i always end up by myself. And you’re surrounded by people who love you while i’m surrounded by people who use me- who i let use me because it makes me feel wanted, if even just for a second. Because i’m so alone otherwise that i feel ******* empty. Don't tell me, “Someone will stay.. eventually”, when you left me and let me drown after convincing me to take the leap of faith off my cliff into your vast dark waters. And even when i am so sure that i can swim, i am pulled back into your undertow, suffocating on the words that i wish i could scream in your face and choking on the love that continues to fill my chest, regardless of all the ******* that you put me through. Keep your rotted apologies that beat against me in meaningless waves, those comforting words that keep me afloat until your hands can latch on like a shark, and those ******* looks of pity as if i'm the mer-thing that was never supposed to get caught in your net of lies. But at least there is one lie that i will never believe: That there are plenty of fish in the sea and that i will find the one for me.

                       -**** the fish, you are my whole    
                                                       ­  ******* ocean
                        and i'm just trying to tread water