‘the good news’, i tell God,
‘is that we’re dying.’
i look up at the dark, cloudy skies,
wondering if this is really my fate,
forcing you and everyone to see me in this god forsaken state.
‘we’re just as dead we will be in a few decades’,
by which i mean,
not yet dead,
but definitely working towards it.

God looks back at me, disappointment in their eyes.
they let out a sigh, as a wasted attempt of blowing me away,
then rolls their eyes all the way to the point where they should be able to see their own brain.

the taste of failure on my tongue,
           i failed you
                i failed you
                     i failed you
keeps echoing through my head,
i just want to go,
i just want to forget,

God gives me a look, almost upset, and then turns their back.


‘i’ll just blame it on cancer’
i say, as i light another cigarette.