I think of you a lot
Though not in the way I used to
Before
I'd be much more be preoccupied with sadness
Even about happy memories
But now it's a lot of anxiety instead
Anxiety about wanting to talk to you
But not knowing what to say
Deciding on the general idea
But getting hung up on the tone
And in every text I do send
I am rereading every individual word
Trying to ensure that I don't
Come across as too invested or
Overstep some invisible boundary
Because I don't trust that I can do that
Without hurting you or
Making you want to run away
And athough someday you wont be in my life
I'd rather it not start today