Most children want toys for Christmas but I wanted revenge.
Santa put me on his naughty list and what I did made him cringe.
I called the cops and told them that Santa molested me.
The cops went to the North Pole and arrested him, there will be no presents under people's trees.

He put me on the naughty list because I yanked a girl's ponytail.
The punishment didn't fit the crime so now Santa is rotting in jail.
What Santa did was unfair so now I'm making him pay.
And he's really unhappy because his cellmate is gay.

I heard that Santa has been sexually assaulted every day he's been in jail.
There is no money at the North Pole so the elves aren't able to post bail.
What I did may have been wrong but it feels so right.
I got revenge and no gifts will be delivered on Christmas night.