I want to be my own breath of fresh air.
I want to be that breath you take,
after you've been trying to hold it in for so long.
That cool cotton air that comforts your soul,
when all you've ever breathed was the world's bitter rancid odor.
I want to be that breath,
letting me know I'm still here.

I want to be my own calm in a storm.
I want my sheer existence to be enough to keep me grounded -
despite the troubled waters around me.
I want my purpose to give me reason to never fear getting swept away into the chaos.

I want to have inner peace.
An unshakeable feeling of calm reassurance that I am going to be okay,
no matter the circumstances around me,
I want to feel okay.

Because at the moment,
I feel like I'm going to decay.
No matter the circumstances around me,
I always feel like I won't live another day.
I'm still holding my breath.
I still fear the storm.
But I promise, I don't want to anymore.