i’m beginning to hate myself again
all my work has been for naught
i still feel the same nausea when i look in the mirror
i still feel the same disgust when i eat
i still feel the urge to rip my skin off
has anything changed?
i remember what it feels like to be happy
but i was filled with anxiety for so long
i think it’s become my natural state

i don’t want to give up
but it’s so hard...
my skin is burning and
every step is like walking through fire
but i promised myself i wouldn’t give up
i won’t give in
i left the part of me that gives up behind
so
even as i crack
even as i burn
even as i hurt
i do not stop
i do not give up