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Nov 2018
i’m trying hard
to keep it together
desperation is my middle name
restless nights
and hopeless days
i can’t do enough
can’t be enough
to keep up this juggling act
everything is falling apart so spectacularly
a fire of blues and reds and purples
one that only i can see

so i play a little game with myself
let’s see how well i can pretend everything is okay
i’ve gotten good at it recently
as my plans for my future start to crumble in my palms
i can still feign interest over a friend’s passing fling
i’ve even been able to pretend
my self esteem is going up
accepting compliments
even convincing myself i’m not a failure
it’s laughable, really
a ******* like me,
who can’t even keep
her life from falling apart,
finally loving herself?
not gonna happen

so i laugh
and sit
and watch
as everything falls apart
Wowee everything has not been good recently, and someone has made it worse, but I cant let it show bc I’m basically the therapist of the group
I’m supposed to be the emotionally stable one, the one you can always ask for advice or help in school work and I don’t know how long I can keep up this facade of being okay
empty seas
Written by
empty seas  15/F/away
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