I’m losing myself
Or at least the lies
That build the walls
For two whole years
That keeps me sane
That kept me whole
Cause what he did
Did take a toll
Now the dice I roll
Tell me to speak
Leaving the pain at it’s peak
Cause words aren’t real until they are
And speaking them has left a scar
The kind that makes you question who you are
Leaving my sanity in its wake
And I can’t even catch a brake
And I know that I have made it far
But I’m numb inside …

And when I’m not
I’m waiting for my blood to clot
Apologies running endlessly
Cause I’m ashamed of who I am
I like the mask
I like the persona I devised
The one I built up on those lies
And now they’re gone and here I am
More broken then I’ve ever been
A burden to the only friend
I’ve ever told those cursêd words
That show you what I truly am...

The lies are happiness I fear
And who I am is nowhere near
Being anything but sad
And a little hurt
And a little mad
The walls I built came crashing down
Now at my feet
in them I drown
I need to heal my broken heart
And I do not know where to start
Plus my grades have missed their mark
And honestly I want to die
But I’m to ******* scared to try
Jumping off the edge to fly
So I sit here asking why?
And pondering to myself
who am I?