Oct 2018
I don't tell people about
What agitation means
It means
I can't sit in class
Because the pain in my head
Is just drilling into my existence
Boring into my consciousness
It means I drag random things
Along with me
Trying to have some weight
To numb all the pain
To get my focus away
On anything
Anything but the pain
It means I walk into random classrooms
Searching for a reason to be away
From I don't know where
Trying to walk away
From this agitation
It means running
Just running aimlessly
As if trying to run away from this body that
Constrains the pain
That intensifies it
Focusing it
It means
Refusing myself the pleasure of reading anything
Including posters on the walls
It means I want to run away
From this physical restrain
Of myself
Just free all this agitation
It means
I'm tired of trying
To keep myself together
Tired of holding all these
Flying papers
In this maelstrom
It means
I'm tired of staring up at confusion
In the face
When no one can answer
It means
I need to be calmed down
Just let myself
Be comforted
It means
I'm desperately trying to hold up
Me
While I'm crumbling
Agitation-
A state of anxiety or nervous excitement
Barely tells you what I mean
What agitation means
It means
I can't sit in class
Because the pain in my head
Is just drilling into my existence
Boring into my consciousness
It means I drag random things
Along with me
Trying to have some weight
To numb all the pain
To get my focus away
On anything
Anything but the pain
It means I walk into random classrooms
Searching for a reason to be away
From I don't know where
Trying to walk away
From this agitation
It means running
Just running aimlessly
As if trying to run away from this body that
Constrains the pain
That intensifies it
Focusing it
It means
Refusing myself the pleasure of reading anything
Including posters on the walls
It means I want to run away
From this physical restrain
Of myself
Just free all this agitation
It means
I'm tired of trying
To keep myself together
Tired of holding all these
Flying papers
In this maelstrom
It means
I'm tired of staring up at confusion
In the face
When no one can answer
It means
I need to be calmed down
Just let myself
Be comforted
It means
I'm desperately trying to hold up
Me
While I'm crumbling
Agitation-
A state of anxiety or nervous excitement
Barely tells you what I mean
20.10.2018
I don't know why but from the beginning of this year I've been like this often. Especially January. And May. And September (Wow that's a uniform difference).
If only I’d learnt to turn to prayer earlier. But still we need people. The whole point of my other poem Eve; She was There
I don't know why but from the beginning of this year I've been like this often. Especially January. And May. And September (Wow that's a uniform difference).
If only I’d learnt to turn to prayer earlier. But still we need people. The whole point of my other poem Eve; She was There
