I've misplaced my identity
It slipped from my sticky *** covered hands
I froth and rage when asked for my name
spit blame upon others because I've lost myself
tragedy is nestled in the cracks of my family life
burrowed in school classrooms and house parties
I never noticed my life was submerged in it
consumed by that cruel water of humiliation
I am a beggar depending on my next stray dollar of affection
clinging hopelessly to its contents for survival
they coax me with promises of change and adoration
yet these charitable samaritans always seem to wander off
like I'm a stray dog starved and ignored
so do not dare ask me how I've been lately
I itch to use my fists to show you
all that remains in my empty void
Is this dull aching for another sip
a violent seduction of my morality
amber elixir offensively dancing in my glass
mouth watering at the smell of that pungent liquor
my friends remain rolled in cigarettes and sipped from bottles
this masochistic cycle fuelled by self damnation
I have no respect for this dependable broken body I occupy
for I am no longer a person but a problem
hostage to the memory of the smiles of my perpetrators
but these clammy deformed hands
hurt my loved ones in a fit of paranoia and fear of betrayal

so hurt be a little harder baby
a sadistic existence is what I deserve