Steel yourself for the inevitable surprise New ties knotting round your neck till you choke Go for broken hearted again Go for finished unstarted again Fall in love for the feeling of falling from infinite heights The rush of death grabbing at your clothes like a desperate lover trying to take you in. The air wrapping round your limbs For a moment you are Suspended Frozen in a fantasy: A collage of red eyes and tendrils of smoke, the smell of fresh rain, resonating harmonies, the fretting curl of a tongue around a barbed remark, and now this- **** shirts and shadows This feels like remembering a dream when you fall out of sleep Chasing through fog Stumbling through memories of feeling like I wasn’t worth your time That all I could aspire to was sunflower following you Turning east to west But feeling rooted to the spot All tongue and talent lost In the shadow of your apathy. This feels less like fate And more like I’m butterfly-catching Sticking pins through anything beautiful Trying to understand what makes it soar unaided for so long And killing it in the process. Other times, I am the butterfly, Catching light until I’m trapped My affection becomes a museum for you To bring your children into, someday. Because nothing can stop my descent I am not iridescent to all of you And maybe I know that Maybe that’s why I choose you The safety of a glass window to hide behind And the familiar crunch and snap of bones As I hit the rocks beneath.
This is a poem about that feeling when you meet someone and just think '...****.' because you know you're gonna fall HARD for them, and whether they reciprocate your feelings or not, it's just not gonna go anywhere. The second half of the poem in particular hearkens back to a particularly teenage feeling of idolising someone who just doesn't seem to notice your value- hence 'all tongue and talent lost'.