Please excuse me.
How could I write something so contradicting?
To write something so encouraging, upbeat, and blithe
Amidst my unsteady thoughts, my weary heart, my muddled mind.
Maybe that's what we all need;
For someone to smile in this world so dreary,
Even as a storm rages inside.
But I don't feel it,
These poems backed up in my mind,
The care and love for humanity I had weeks ago.
Now my spirits are downcast,
For a reason I don't even know.
I doubt how I can tell you that I care,
When right now, all I want to do is be alone.
How can I preach it when I don't live it?
I walk, blurryfaced, down these halls,
Avoiding your eyes, deserting your fight.
And I'm sorry.
But I fear I'll put on a mask again
By telling you one more hopeful thing,
Because right now, doubt's my only friend.
My mind may scare you but please don't run.
Not sure exactly where these thoughts come from.
I think too much.
I'm falling asleep.
Stay with me.