A black is wading with my blood it’s no longer red.
You’ve left me here to heal with wounds raw open. Left me to love without showing me what it was ( remember I can only learn from demonstration) And left me to cry without any more salt tears - because you drank the rest after dinner.
Now I spends days with a knife inbetween my sweet fingertips searching for the blood, that you have left me without.
I search kitchens for a substance so overpowering that it will strip my insides bare and wash them clean of your toxins that have spilled in places I can’t reach.
Then find me caved in this void where I pull the trigger at my head (metaphorically) countless times a day until my stupid thoughts leak out and drip onto the puddles. and all that turmoil inside pours down me, showering me in your illnesses.
Lights are put out by the last exhales I breathe. you winded my lungs out of use and now I sit in dark.
I’m barricaded in deafened voices which I do not hear over your pounding silence.
Hands are worn numb from ripping up pages which have your name imprinted on each line in fantasies.
Senses drunk from words you forced to run down my throat and my body is flooded by your lips and I find myself bent over, vomiting the **** you fed me.
In bed I’m cradling myself to sleep in peices. Don’t you dare let me see you in a dream tonight.