can i ever willfully forget
the way you kissed your
hatred onto my lips,
like i was a sanctuary

and can i ever willfully regret
having you draped
on top of me,
two worlds colliding in darkness

can i ever say your name
without hearing all the times
i held promise and love in it
and hoped for return

can i ever willfully reverse
the broken butterflies
in my stomach that pound
a symphony when you say my name

can i ever willfully leave
that feeling behind when you ask me
if i'm alright in the same voice
you whispered my name when you loved me

can i ever willfully believe
that it was all just a rouse
to finally create a **** notch
in your bedpost

can i willfully unlove
the beautiful person i believed you were
if i can't willfully seek
the actual ice underneath,

will i ever believe
those nights you kept me happy
were all just a scene
in your play for me

you're a phenomenal actor
a better poet than i could ever be
you string lies together so effortlessly
and here i see the masterpiece

a tragedy built for me.