~
Here I am.
Sitting on my roof, questioning life.
Coming to terms with the truth.
I am a mistake.
A big mistake.
And everybody knows.
The result of an affair.
I shouldn’t have been born.
I didn’t ask to be made.
I didn’t ask to be born.
I wasn’t in control, and if I was I wouldn’t have been chosen to be born.
It was not my fault. It isn’t my fault.
I can tell you blame me though.
So here I sit on my roof, staring at my lawn as deer pass by quietly.
In this fragment of time.
I can be in control.
I can watch the grass below me, and watch the clouds dance and turn, or I could jump off the room and scream.
For now, I just sit and type my years of sorrows in hopes to reach someone.
For now, I am in control.
~