Today started the same way Get up Pretend I'm okay Dress up Look happy Happy So happy I can't stop smiling It hurts It hurts to smile It hurts to laugh It hurts to pretend I don't feel No one understands how I feel You make me feel All that I try to block I could talk for hours To you And never end the discussion About Kipling or Plath And the clowns that troll our city in the late night Politics and the Alt-right The naysayers and degenerates How we really feel All that we hide In our day to day All that we are in every way Embrace it all Swallow it all Pretend it doesn't exist As we watch the other fall It's our fault Really We should have known But how could we ignore When it felt like home Our bodies lying intertwined, as if meant to connect like the missing piece to a puzzle My head on your chest, listening to every heartbeat Feeling as if that's exactly where I'm meant to be in that very place and time Your hands interlocked in my tiny hands as you laugh and tell me it's ok They're cute Our legs tied together like twine As our lips press up against one another's With every kiss, you inhale more of me Until I cannot breathe I'm gasping for air, yet I want more and more of you Your big strong hands grazing over my body, groping my *******, grabbing my face, ******* in my lips Intoxicating me God I ******* want you so bad Everything about you makes me want you You make me wet with your words You touch me and drive me crazy Your tongue sets me on fire And every time I fall for you a little more Even though my head may say no, my heart wouldn't listen And my heart's a ******* *****
Even if I never see him again, I will still always remember him this way forever in my heart. I wish I could just turn my feelings off. I can't.