i learned it before the subtlety of time meant me to

i don’t know who it was
who planted the seed
but i was a baby
acting like i was grown

in a world of forced skin
you were the catalyst
the cure for the summer heat
much to the chagrin of the other counselors

if you google “how to spot
grooming behavior” it was
you to a tee but i don’t think
you knew how bad it was

and neither did i, till i
applied your tactics a hundred
times. it made me the devil
the charred tongue of death

and i broke so many people
to dust before i knew what
dust was- i am only now
realizing that i thought love

was the tightening of grip
forced respect from older
boys who thought God was
a scam (you were the scam

who followed me home
weeknights and tagged
along on dates, you
disgusting ****, you should

have known better) at age
thirteen sometimes respect is
ignored when you get it from
high school boys (sometimes

he pops up again asking me
how i‘ve been and i don’t talk
because how do you tell them that
you had to start again from where

they ****** you over?)