Growing up I held
A sword as shield
Fighting every day
To just be me
Submissive with my equals
But never giving dominance
To those throwing
Their weight upon my Being

Unfortunately
I learned to stab
At the tender parts
Of my father
As I sliced
Off the cancers
Growing amongst my friends

When I tried to quit
The fight for peace
Distance from false family
       (My love for them
         An open wound)
My father turned
His sword upon hisself
And finally stabbed at me

My sword my shield
My fire shattered
Cold steel
Became my skin
I hid in here
Until I couldn’t
Until I couldn’t
Escape.

To shatter cold steel
Mix amphetamines with pixie hearts
Let simmer for months
Then superheat yourself
With mushroom stems and drums
Until collapse
Careful now your armors gone
Careful now take two
Sublingual
Make three
Of equals
And open up the heart

Careful now
Careful now
Careful now