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Mama's Mother Fuckin' Good Girl

What happens when the good girl goes bad

like the spoiled milk she left out?

Because I couldn't seem to get up.

I think it was something about acknowledging that I'm alive, I'm here.

Wouldn't it all be easier if I wasn't?

 

When the good girl goes bad

because she worked her *** off on that paper and only got a C.

 

When the good girl goes bad

because the world doesn't treat her right,

but I guess it must because that's

how come I'm the good girl.

Not my depressed sister sitting in her room;

not my other sister running around, destroying everything I had to work for;

most definitely

not my other sister who always seemed to be your favorite but is now smashing plates in our backyard,

'cause I guess that's what happens if you get too close to you.

 

When the good girl goes bad,

you get angry because

I'm supposed to be your perfect child

not supposed to be

your ***** up child

your lonely child

your lazy child

your anxious child

not supposed to be

your good for nothing child

your dysfunctional child

your doesn't give a **** about anything anymore child.

why don't I ******* give a **** about anything anymore?

 

When the good girl goes bad

your life falls apart,

because clearly

you had enough to deal with already,

because clearly

this is all my fault,

because clearly

you don't have the time to face your good girl

and

because clearly

that's all on me.

 

When the good girl goes bad

because you left her out on the counter all those years, sitting there to rot.

And though I know that you can't waste your time putting it away, 'cause you never cared for it anyway,

maybe you shouldn't have bought the milk if you didn't want to drink it.

And I know the milk should take care of itself

but I tried and that only works for a couple of years

before the good girl gone bad falls far off the counter, spills across the floor,

and the only thing left is to throw that nasty old milk away

because your bread, eggs, oil, etc. need your attention

and it's just too late for the good girl.

 

When the good girl goes bad

because she never asked to be the good girl

or maybe I did, I don't really remember,

but not like this.

I just wanted to be loved

but little did I know that

the good girl just sits there

keeping herself afloat,

but the boat can't guide itself if it wasn't given eyes.

The boat can't patch itself if you keep telling it its still brand new

when its really old, broken, and covered in holes.

You shouldn't put a boat in the water if you know its going to sink,

but I guess you only really need a couple good boats

so you can just toss the good girl.

 

When mama's little good girl goes bad,

she feels guilty

because she was told she'd always be

the good girl.

Though, its hard being the good girl when you don't have any windshield wipers for your tears at night.

But the tears at night aren't supposed to exist

because

I'm still mama's mother fuckin' good girl,

just...

please pretend I haven't gone bad.

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Written by
SilhouetteOfADeadKid
14 / Gender Fluid
Published
May 14, 2018
Lines·Words
74·555
Notes

I added to what was originally posted. I was having some technical issues and decided to just post what I had before, but this is the full poem (5/16/18)

Tags
#goodgirl#misunderstood#neglect#suicide#badgirl#hurt
Permission

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