With my heart beating out of my breast
I press my fingers firmly into his chest
And I consider the world without him
There are days when we falter and I doubt him
But his everything draws me back in.

My scrambled thoughts are a jumbled mess
All I can do now is simply guess
But when will I know if he wants me?

He has such poise and brilliance
His smile alone is worth millions
I wonder how our story will end.

Will I vow to forever?
Or will I pull the lever
To swing at my emotional execution.

In a way I'm the tyrant
Although I act quite vibrant
Do you think he sees me in a spotlight?

Am I the center of his stage?
Or will I wilt away like a flower with age
Does he replace my water or toss me?

If he saw me the way I see myself
I'd worry more strongly for his mental health
Because to be in this inner asylum is a hell all in itself.

Pennhurst is childsplay compared to my mind
I try to turn my head away from his lies and act blind
But somehow my lenses see through his tricks.

I'm a shell of a person
Despite my aversion
And I know I have to deal with this turmoil eventually.

"Hey, it's okay
We'll get there one day"
He assures me through his brilliant *******.

I lay in bed and ponder
In thought my time I squander
What is best for me?